Hello, Weary Traveler
At the airport:
- There are approximately 309 signs from the moment you arrive at the airport to the moment you are asked for you ID informing you that you are, indeed, going to need to hand over your ID in the near future.
- Liquids have not been allowed on planes for almost 10 years. There is no excuse for this to be new information to you. Ditto on the concept of removing your shoes.
- If you are in Zone 3, stay in your seat until your Zone is called.
On the plane:
- If your bag is too heavy for you to lift into the overhead, check it.
- I am also fully within my rights to vomit on you if you’re eating an egg salad sandwich. Do not bring smelly food on to the plane.
- When the flight attendant asks you to turn off your electronic devices, just turn them off.
- If my earphones are on, it is the international sign that I do not want to talk to you.
- When the plane gets to the gate, there is no need for you to stand up. Wait until the door opens, then hustle and bustle to your heart’s content.
What is it about traveling that brings out the absolute worst in human beings?